We all are aware how often the word aging is attached to dismay or decline. For decades, we’ve been warned about wrinkles, memory slips, and dependence – as if aging is something to battle rather than embrace. I am in a course with younger women still using the anti-aging fight as their cause.
Let’s be clear, if we go into combat with aging, we lose. Aging is how life happens. So, let’s find a new way to look at it.
In many ways, aging can be deeply positive. It’s not about pretending we’re still 35, it’s about discovering new ways to feel vital, connected, and fulfilled at 60, 70, or 80 and beyond. I am curious what it means to you.
Welcome to the Positive Aging Movement
There’s an entire movement dedicated to rethinking what it means to grow older. The concept stems from the field of positive psychology, which gained traction in the 1990s. I was in my 50s and remember terms like well-being, using our strengths, flourishing, and the emphasis on inclusion of everyone. What do you recall?
This energy has more recently become a part of the conversation around aging – and it’s reshaping how we live our later life. Around 2010, the shift became more visible. Researchers, wellness experts, and even the World Health Organization began promoting living well throughout life. The focus on aging expanded from managing decline to actively creating well-being, purpose, and vitality.
An Explosion of Research
In the 21st century, major universities have developed entire centers devoted to the study of aging well. I follow Stanford’s Center on Longevity and their ‘new map of life,’ as well as Harvard’s 85-year-long happiness study. There are many more academic centers to explore.
This research is uncovering important truths about aging: that having a positive outlook on aging can literally help us live longer and healthier lives.
One book I often recommend is Breaking the Age Code by Becca Levy, which shows how our beliefs about aging affect our bodies and brains. Other favorites include Aging Sideways by Jeanette Leardi, and Outlive by Peter Attia, MD (if you can absorb 400 pages of the medical side of healthy aging). There’s no shortage of good reading – so be selective. Focus on what resonates with you. What have you been reading about this topic?
What Does Positive Aging Actually Look Like?
It’s easy to think that aging well just means eating well, exercising, and getting a good night’s sleep. These things certainly matter. But positive aging is also about what’s going on inside you and how your life feels to you.
Here are three pillars to consider:
Meaning and Purpose
You don’t need to start a nonprofit or climb mountains (unless you want to!). Your sense of purpose might come from caregiving, volunteering, creative work, mentoring, or deepening your spiritual life. For some, it may simply be finding joy in daily rituals. What matters is if you feel a sense of meaning in contrast with aimlessness.
Connection and Belonging
We need each other and to feel like we belong. Loneliness has been shown to be as detrimental to health as smoking. Loneliness is more likely as the years go by; we are the ones who must initiate and maintain our connections. Whether it’s a weekly coffee date, a book club, or texting with grand-kids – relationships matter. Who are your people, and how do you stay connected?
Mindset
Humor, optimism, gratitude, and a belief in your ability to grow are examples of having a positive mindset. These help us face inevitable change, navigate loss, and find enjoyment in most moments. More than that, they help us notice what is possible in life and continue to expand and flourish as the years pass.
Aging Is Real
Of course, the reality is that we change as the years go by. I’m 77 now, and I notice it. Hiking takes more effort. Getting off the floor is a little less graceful. But I also notice this: I’m still evolving. I’m still learning. I still have so much to give.
And here’s what keeps me going: I picture my future self as a vibrant 90-something – curious, active, engaged. That image guides the choices I make today. Even if I don’t make it to 90, I’ll have lived with intention and joy moving in that direction.
What’s the alternative? To shrink back, disconnect, or focus only on what’s fading? No, thank you. I want to do what I can with what I have – whatever that looks like.
What About You?
Every one of us is on our own journey with aging. What makes you feel fulfilled? Where do you feel stuck? Are there small shifts you could make – to bring more connection, energy, or joy into your life?
Maybe it’s reconnecting with a friend. Maybe it’s trying something new. Maybe it’s simply noticing what’s working and savoring it.
If you’ve never thought much about “positive aging” before, now’s a good time to start. Because aging isn’t something happening to us. It’s something we get to influence through our choices, our mindset, and our hearts. Reach out anytime: [email protected].
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What does positive aging mean to you? What books on positive aging have you read? Which of the pillars of positive aging do you still need to work on? I’d love to hear your story.
