I’m startled a bit, even as I write this. There’s a part of me that still thinks I’m blowing this out of proportion, but something tells me this ain’t right.
A year ago, I fled a toxic ex. Let’s call him Max. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to share the extent of the emotional damage he’s done. He made me feel like the worst person on Earth.
After I broke up with him, I’d constantly run into him. Sure, I used to live in a small town, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence. To get away from this dude, I moved, changed my number, started over. But it seems he didn’t give up easily.
I moved again. This time I made sure I didn’t post anything on social media. Only my parents and sister knew where I was. But one night, his name popped up on my phone. My heart dropped.
I answered and immediately started asking questions. Like how he got my number. He burst into laughter. His answer made me so angry when he said he’d gotten it from my sister.
I. Lost. It. My own sister. I called her immediately. At first, she tried to lie about it, saying it wasn’t her who gave him the number. But after I pressured her, she confessed. “It’s just a number,” she said.
Just a number, are you serious right now? This was the man who made me feel like I had to hide in the world. I asked her why she did it. She sighed and said, “It’s been a year. I thought maybe he changed.”
- Take some much-needed space from your sister for now. You don’t have to cut her off forever, sure, but some distance might help you feel better. She broke your trust, so, understandably, you need some time. You can always decide later if the relationship is worth rebuilding.
- Change your number again and report to the authorities. While it’s frustrating to start over, it can give you back control. This time, share your new number with only the people you trust fully. As for your ex, if you feel your physical and emotional safety is at risk, report him to trusted authorities.
- Talk to someone who understands this kind of fear. You’re dealing with something more than just hurt feelings. A therapist or support group can help you process these fears, the anger, and the confusion that come with this kind of emotional turmoil. You don’t have to figure it out on your own.
