- Stop feeling guilty: You wanted to catch a thief who you might have imagined being a tad sneaky, but your intention wasn’t to shame a person in trouble. While it still happened, shake off the guilt, given this was not an act of deliberate ill-will from your end.
- Remember, you did offer: You’ve stopped the theft, and your coworker may now feel guilt, shame, and perhaps even resentment toward you, but remind yourself that you had offered to share food if they had let you know. The decoy milk was your last stop to catch the thief, not your first.
- Have a one-on-one talk: Approach your colleague in a one-on-one setting, and be honest: “I realize I went too far trying to stop my things from going missing, and I feel bad for how it played out.” Make clear you understand she might have been in a difficult spot and that you regret the way you handled it.
- You may offer a small kindness: You could offer to bring her coffee, lunch, or something thoughtful, but let her decline if she wants. The idea is not to buy forgiveness but to make a genuine offer to help.
- Keep interactions normal: Keep your behavior the same as before. If you guys made small talk, keep at it; if you didn’t, don’t start anything new. You may have embarrassed her by your prank, but she had no right to filch your food supplies without asking.
- Secure your supplies: A small lockable box or fridge caddy in the shared fridge will keep your allergen-free food supply safe.
- Labeling plus boundary: Add clear labels and pair them with clear boundaries, like “Please do not use allergen-free food” or “Ask Mary before taking.”
- The official escalation route: If theft continues, go to HR or a manager before taking matters into your own hands.
We had a Bright Side reader, Jessica, face a similar situation, although in her case it was expensive tea, and the thief turned out to be her boss, creating a tough workplace situation for her. Here are some reader comments from that story:
- It’s not reasonable to expect that your boss is a thief. There’s a huge difference between offering ONE cup of tea to someone and taking it all. Food/beverage theft is one of the biggest bones of contention in workplaces. If you didn’t buy it, DON’T eat/drink it without asking permission first & remember NO means no. © Callie Ge / Bright Side
- I think you made the right choice in not confronting your boss. This is your workplace, so right or wrong, I think the focus should be on peace and prevention. Just keep your tea in your desk, purse, or locker. No matter how wrong your boss was, leaving altered foods in a public space can come back to bite you. © Nicky H / Bright Side
