Hi Bright Side,
It’s been a long, exhausting road being the responsible one in my family. I’m 22, and my brother Alex, who’s 25, is basically the opposite. He’s always getting into debt and somehow, my parents are always there to rescue him, and they always expect me to help out.
I went along with it until recently. Last month, on my birthday, I came home hoping for a little celebration. Instead, my parents sat me down and told me that they had sold the car I paid for and had gifted to them.
I just nodded, smiled, and said I’d think about it. Then I walked out and called my dad’s best friend, who’s a lawyer. I laid everything out for him, and he was as shocked as I was. He said he’d talk to my parents himself.
Now my parents are furious. They’re telling me I embarrassed them and that I should’ve handled it in the family instead of involving a lawyer. And Alex has been texting me non-stop, saying I’ve ruined his life and how I don’t care about his future.
I finally feel like I stood up for myself for the first time in years, but now I’m being painted as the bad guy. Am I wrong for doing this?
Your parents selfishly expect you to always put your life on hold to fix their problems. Even though the car was legally theirs, it was to help them out and keep you independent. Now that both cars are gone, you’re back to your first problem of always being on call for them.
You say that they’ve been manipulating you for a while, so by involving a lawyer, you didn’t blindside them, you took a necessary step to protect yourself from people who were actively harming you financially and emotionally.
Your parents are only angry because you’re not a walkover anymore. For years, they’ve relied on you to be the responsible one and give in to their demands. They didn’t expect you to push back, and they’re lashing out and blaming you because they don’t know how to handle it.
