Hi Bright Side,
My name is Katty, I’m 29, and I’ve been married to my husband, Josh, for four years. We tried for a baby for almost three years. It was a tough journey, I went through therapy and gained about 10 kg during that time.
Honestly, I don’t think I look bad now. My body just changed. I’m curvier, and funnily enough, I’ve even been getting more attention from other men. But not from Josh.
Since our daughter was born six months ago, he’s been constantly picking on my weight. He compares me to my friend Lynet, who also had a baby but quickly got back to her pre-pregnancy body.
He keeps telling me to follow her diet, join the gym, “take care of myself.” That would be easier if I had even a little help from him. But I don’t.
Last night at dinner with both our families, I was handing dessert to my mom when Josh said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Careful, babe! You’re already working on your second chin.”
Everyone laughed. I forced a laugh too. Tried to play it off. But inside, it felt like he punched me in the heart.
Later that night, while I was tidying up, I noticed one of Josh’s drawers was left open. It’s usually locked. I looked inside.
There were pictures of Lynet. Not normal pictures, intimate ones. I don’t even know how long this has been going on, but in that moment, I knew. He’s having an affair with my friend.
I haven’t told anyone. I feel numb. I keep thinking: maybe this is my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t gained weight, maybe if I looked like her, he would still love me.
I still love him. I want our family to stay together. But I don’t know if trying to lose weight is the answer, or if I’m just trying to fix something that’s already broken. What should I do?
First, please hear this clearly: this is not your fault. You carried a child, you brought life into the world, and your body changed because it did something incredible. That deserves reverence, not ridicule.
You could spend months dieting, training, reshaping your body, but it wouldn’t fix what’s broken here: his values, his empathy, his loyalty.
You’re allowed to want your family to work. But love isn’t enough on its own, respect is essential. If you choose to stay, do it only if Josh is willing to take full responsibility, cut ties with Lynet, and join you in therapy to repair the emotional damage. Not because you lost weight, but because he recognizes he was wrong.
